


Personal Jesus

by graforlok



Category: Marble Hornets
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Religion talk, Tim has bpd, this is both sad and cute?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-29 02:37:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17799536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/graforlok/pseuds/graforlok
Summary: Tim feels faith when he's with Brian





	Personal Jesus

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the song Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode (sorta.) 
> 
> I really don't know how i feel about this one. Warning for Tim seeing his FP Brian as a god, something I personally did with one of mine. haaa

He was like a higher being to Tim. Someone who had his shit together, and wasn’t constantly worried that someone or something was out to get them. He didn’t have to worry about taking meds on time, or missing them, or anything. Brian was...normal. But he was so much more to him than that.

He was a soft kiss in the morning. He was a fireplace and hot chocolate on a cold winter night. He was that pang in Tim’s heart that never went away, always reminding him of his feelings for the other...He was comfort, and he was love...He was everything Tim never had. Not until now.

Brian had to be some sort of demigod. Tim felt faith when Brian reached to touch his skin, as he was now. Brian’s hand gently resting on Tim’s face, the bottom of his palm just barely touching the corner of his mouth. He felt his body tense up, only for a moment before sighing into the touch and giving Brian’s wrist a kiss. How did he have no scars? No aching reminders of the past pain that he had been through. Not everyone harmed themselves...not everyone had been harmed. Concepts like these confused Tim. Maybe everyone who hadn’t gone through what he had was a demigod. Maybe it wasn’t just Brian. But maybe Brian was the only one he wanted to worship, to feel closer to. His faith was only growing more and more in his heart.

Brian sighed contently as he felt Tim’s lips against his wrist. He pulled him closer, fixing the strands of hair back to their place that had fallen into his face. He kissed his forehead, then his nose, and then his lips.   
“How ya feeling, pretty boy?” Brian asked the shorter man. Tim watched him with intrigue. How could one person be some amazing, he wondered. Tim felt himself tearing up, and he felt such an immense wave of emotion hitting him. Was this how he was supposed to feel at the touch of his demigod? He was never religious, but in this moment he felt as if he could be. 

Brian could pick up on the emotions, and he pulled him in for a hug. “What’s goin’ on?” Brian asked soothingly, kissing at Tim’s shoulder.   
“Why are you so perfect?” Tim let out a choked sob. Brian looked at him with confusion.   
“Hmm?” He asked, a soft smile on his face. Tim hid his face in the crook of Brian’s neck and continued talking.   
“How are you…that way? How are you perfect? How do you make me feel like there’s a good force in this world and that not everything is bad? I don’t get it?” Tim was rambling, he could tell. But at the same time, he couldn’t shut his mouth. 

He only stopped when he felt Brian kiss his hair and shush him. He realized he had become almost frantic, just crying and going on about how beautiful Brian was. Embarrassment started to hit him, and Tim wouldn’t look directly at Brian. The other man took initiative and moved Tim’s head gently so that he was looking him in the eye.   
“I’m not perfect.” Brian said with a smile.   
“But you are!” Tim said. “You’re closer to perfect than I could ever be.”   
“There’s no such thing as being perfect…” Brian smiled. “But if there’s anything similar to it, I know it’s us. Together. Not separately. You bring out the best in me. It works both ways.” 

Tim was silent, watching his eyes. He was being genuine...He knew it. He could tell because not many people were genuine with him, so when he heard it...he knew it. Brian smiled at him, pulling him in for a kiss.   
“I don’t wanna lose you..” Tim said, pulling away.   
“You won’t…” Brian said. And though Tim knew Brian was being sweet, he knew it was a lie. He lost everyone, whether it be them leaving willingly or not...It hadn’t happened a lot of times yet, but he knew that when it happened with Brian it would break him. That all that built up faith would be lost, and that he’d once again be godless. But now was not the time to think of what would be lost. He was surrounded by love in this moment, and that was all that mattered.


End file.
